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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
George and Brads Movie Review's LiveJournal:
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|Saturday, January 7th, 2006|
Directed By: Eli Roth
Probably the last movie i'll see in theatres for a while, so I'll review this one like I still care about movies. Anyway, Eli Roth also directed "Cabin Fever", which I thought was a pretty sweet movie. Everyone else said it was crap, but society sucks as a whole, so forget about them. Anyway, I was anxious to see another one of Roth's films, and have been waiting for the past 6 months to see this movie. So of course I had to go opening night...
I went to a cinema down here in Jacksonville, NC. Opening night so it was pretty goddamn full, especially since we got there 10 minutes before it started. Know what that means? I had to sit in the seats where you have to tilt your head up...booo. Besides that, there was a bunch of black guys sitting in front of my group, and one thing you don't see with black guys is a horror movie. Not only do they not shut up or stop using their cell phones, but they have convo's like this, and I quote:
"Look at that pussy cry....if I was about to get tortured I wouldn't be crying..." Black guy A
"For real nigga...what a pussy" Black Guy B
"Oh damn son what's he about to do with those pliers!!" Black guy A
"OH SHIT NIGGA OH NO!!" Black Guy B
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH" Both Black Guys "I CAN'T WATCH ANYMORE!!"
Boy, I hate theatres.
I liked movies that scare me. I don't think they make movies like that anymore though. This shouldn't even be a "scary" movie. It doesn't even have the "jump" scenes. It just has alot of gore and blood spray. While cool, I was pretty dissapointed.
3 Backpackers are traveling around Europe just fucking off trying to get laid. They hear that Bratislava is full of beautiful women who fuck the hell out of foreigners, and there are no men there. So of course they go straight there, and immediately hook up with incredibly hot women WAY TOO EASILY. Then one of the friends dissapears, then another, etc. Its not a mystery story or anything. So i'll just spoil the part of the story you don't know (they tell you halfway in the movie anyway, unless your a retard)
Rich men from all over the world pay large sums of money to come to Bratislava and torture and kill tourists. The amount differs depending on the country of origin of each tourist. Everyone is in on it, the beautiful women, the police. So anyway, 2 of the main 3 die, and the 3rd escapes from being tortured (missing a few fingers though). He helps an Asian woman who he met earlier escape (cuts off her eyeball because it was dangling, pretty fucking intense scene) . Along their escape they pretty much kill every bad person involved (which is why I thought the ending was so fucking good). Asian woman kills herself when she looks in the mirror, the end.
WHY I LIKED IT:
I could relate to the story. It wasn't really cheesy at all. And I didn't have to think very much either. And there was lots of beautiful women. Naked.8/10I will be buying this on DVD in 6 months (or 3 months, or however long it takes nowadays)
|Sunday, January 1st, 2006|
Let's see here, this movie is long. the cinamatography is solid, but thats with all peter jackson movies. the acting was okay. the ape was ridiculus. he goes down by a harpoon in the leg, yet three t rexs dont phase him. there was a few cool scenes, but not enough to keep me entertained for three full hours. the film is pretty boring most of the time. it still didnt answer the question of how they got the ape back to new york. i mean, they dumped literally all of their supplies and there was no way that the crew could have been sustained for a long journey back with virutally all of its supplies being thrown over board.
i give this movie a i want three hours of my life back out of pi
|Thursday, December 29th, 2005|
Bloody hell, blah blah blah sad bloke sally jesse raphael. Thats about all i got out of the script. Im still trying to figure out why this movie was rated ARGH! there wasnt a pirate, no boobies, and not even really much gore. "based on a true story" guessing then ben told it, and made everything up? ummm aussies get shot in the neck and shrug it off. oh well Screw this whole updating thing. LETS GO SEE KING KONG! by the time we get out of that peice of crap i'll be old enough to drink.
i'd buy it just to burn it outta 10
|Thursday, November 24th, 2005|
This movie is playing in the other room as I type. Your basic Drama/Love story, except I got really into it. Maybe because how fucked up it was, or because how fate seemed to keep them apart til the end. I like this movie...7/10
|Sunday, November 20th, 2005|
Skeleton Key/Wicker Park....
God damn did this movie suck. No nudity, and no scares. Did the ending keep me guessing? Fuck no. It kept me fucking bored, that's what it did. I hate voodoo, or hoodoo, or whatever the hell it was. And ending's like this suck. Make me wonder why I watch such shitty movies. Oh yeah, fucking plot holes are enormous. Why did they even give two shits about the old guy? They already switched, so wtf? NEVER WATCHING THIS PIECE OF SHIT AGAIN/10
|Saturday, November 12th, 2005|
Starring: Jake Gyllenhal, Jamie Foxx
Living where I live and doing what I do, I pretty much had to see this movie. There was a free showing on base for christ's sake. Jake Gyllenhal was fucking prime in Donnie Darko, and Jamie Foxx always steals the spotlight when he's on screen. But then again, this is a true story, and alot of times real life blows....
At times, this movie was fucking hilarious. Jake telling his Senior that he "got lost on the way to college" was priceless. The movie was looking pretty damn good before he got deployed to Iraq, and then things took a dive...
How they described Iraq was way too real. Not only from what I've heard about people who've been there, but myself going there shortly it did little to brighten my spirits. And the "Wall of Shame" is all too real. I know of almost a dozen women making it with my buddies and these women are married with husbands overseas. While I was interested, I was not entertained. It doesn't help that his platoon didn't get into combat even once. Maybe the movie would have been better if he "took the shot". But he didn't.
I hated the ending. Probably the most anti-Marine thing i've ever seen. All these hero's who fought in the Gulf War come back girlfriend-less, working at the local supermarket, (and in one case) killing themselves. At least the Staff Sgt. stayed in...5/10
Never Going to watch it again though....
|Saturday, October 29th, 2005|
Saw 2, Donnie Darko
Why do we love sequels so much? Honestly...I saw "Saw" with George last halloween...it wasn't all that great. Ending was fucking awesome though. And now we have Saw 2...
I'll be nice. The story was "different". But I still think it fucking sucked. I could give two shits about any of the characters. Jigsaw being in custody the whole time wasn't much better. And since you shouldn't see this movie, i'll spoil the gay ending. The Druggie chick from the 1st Saw who survived is back in Saw 2 and is playing the game with everyone else; the cops are watching it through a feed because they captured Jigsaw. Turns out, the feed isn't live, and its all a trick to fuck over this one cop. He goes there thinking his son is there, but its really the druggie chick who is the new fucking jigsaw. What the fuck.NEVER WATCHING THIS PIECE OF SHIT AGAIN/10
Best movie i've seen in a long time. Definitely in my top 5. Fucking awesome. Wasn't as fucked up as I expected though; I know exactly what happened and i'm dumb as shit.
|Friday, September 2nd, 2005|
Naomi Watts has been my favorite actress for a while now. I saw Ring 1 because of her and loved it, and of course she's back in Ring Two. Ring 1 was creepy, i'll be honest. Ring 2 on the other hand....
NOT SCARY AT ALL. But I don't think the movie really tried to be scary. Watching her car get trashed by a herd of deer was priceless. But boy was the story lame.
I don't have the time nor patience to post some long ass review about it, but the ending was all fucked up. And it looks like they're will be a Ring 3 (although I doubt Naomi will be in it :(7/10
Because Naomi Watts is hot and its the sequel to Ring 1
|Sunday, August 7th, 2005|
Keanau Reeves is the fucking man. Who cares if he is a bad actor, he is THE MAN. If you say otherwise, your only going to sound like a fucking retard, because everyone knows how much ass he kicks. Keanu will flip out and kill people, because that is what he does. Anyway...
Constantine is not an action movie. The damn previews were misleading as fuck. The only people who will really enjoy this movie are fans of the comic book/religious nuts. I am neither so this movie was boring as hell. Keanu was cool though. Thats about all I have to say about that.NEVER WATCHING THIS PIECE OF SHIT AGAIN/10
|Saturday, July 16th, 2005|
Expect White Noise Review Tomorrow...
George said it was so-so; but then again George's mind is comprised mainly of Family Guy quotes and masterbation techniques. Its Saturday night, fucking go out and do something.
|Monday, July 11th, 2005|
Its been awhile
Starring a bunch of people.
This movie looked really bad. the previews sucked. the idea sucked. but to my surprise this ended up being an okay movie. i actually enjoyed it. it was actually action filled for the most part. It was pretty suspenseful. had a good plot twist, one that actually made sense. my main complaint about this movie is that nicole kidman is a very bad actress. overall though, i give this movie a C+.
Any movie starting with the word Dark... Dont see.. i.e Dark City. Dark Water.
for someing kind of dying
|Friday, July 8th, 2005|
Our Fan asked us to start posting agian.. so maybe we will..
|Wednesday, June 29th, 2005|
Eat Shit Steven Spielberg...FUCK WAR OF THE WORLDS....
DO NOT SEE THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.
I refuse to even talk about what happened. I don't even know what to say. I feel violated by this fucking movie. It raped every single person in my theatre. I beg you don't see this movie. I'm never ever going to discuss this movie again.
If you want to learn how to make a good movie and fucking ruin it in the last 5 minutes, you may want to see this.
What's even worse, I told my mom "Let's walk out". Before we could get up, the movie ended.
My mom said "the original ended like that". I don't give a fuck, that movie must suck ass too.
Fuck everyone involved with this flick. Fuck Morgan Freeman for narrating the beginning and End. Umm, I'm seriously pissed right now.
...My rating scale doesn't even go low enough for this one.
|Monday, June 27th, 2005|
Tom Cruise in "War of the Worlds"...
Boy, I have a feeling this movie is going to suck harder than George's girlfriend on Prom Night. I'm just getting this whole Independance Day ripoff vibe, and I don't like it. I guess i'll play it by dick. If there's a pretty girl in this movie, i'll stay. If not, fuck it i'm walking out.THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF
1. Last time I was at the movie theater, I found out a shocking truth. They did not give out free refills. Now this made me a little angry; what iced the cake was that I was in my marine uniform, and the cashier was gonna do it; then the manager looked at me and said "no free refills". MOTHER FUCKER.
2. Women who go tanning. Tanning was cool a few years ago. Now if you do it, your a whore; let's face it, what's the real reason you tan? Because you want to get fucked. End of story. Whore. Base tan my ass.
3. Old people. Fucking move to Alaska. You know what is funny? Old people on snow mobiles. You know what is funnier? Old people on snow mobiles driving off a cliff. My friend Thom calls old people "crust", and I see why. No one likes fucking crust. And if you had a mom who cut the crust off your Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich you should feel special. I envy you.
4. Michigan women. God why do you have to be so fucking ugly? Southern women have you beat in every category. I'm sorry but its the truth.
5. Change. Pennies, nickels, dimes, whatever. It just builds up, and its annoying. Sure, Coinstar might be super cool and all, but, change sucks.
6. Parks. What the hell? Why in god's name would I want to go to a park? So I can sit in the grass and have a picnic? Are you gay or something? If I want to have a picnic that bad i'll do it in my back yard. I can't believe taxpayer's money goes into this kind of shit.
7. Greek Women. Just because your in a sorority doesn't make you hot. What it does make you is a slut, that's really about it. I hope you enjoy getting fucked by drunk frat guys, skanks.
Well, i'm prtty tired. I guess i'll go to bed now. If you don't agree with my views, your WRONG.
"Your not even speaking English--your speaking Lion King." Where in the Fuck did that come from? God I wish I wasn't such a dumbass.
|Sunday, June 26th, 2005|
Bet she can't wiggle like that with a dick in her....
Just reminding you all I will be in Michigan this upcoming weekend. Autograph signings will be held at the Steak and Shake in Chesterfield Twp. Saturday, from 12:00-1:00. After that, I'll probably get down with some Phantasy Star Online with the homies until about 6:00. Then i'll probably get very fucked up in a very short amount of time. And after that....
DEJA VU PORT HURON. All our welcome to join us, especially if you bring hot women. God Damn i'm looking forward to this.
|Friday, June 24th, 2005|
LAND OF THE DEAD REVIEW (SPOILERS)
I laughed, I cried, I came. Oh wait, wrong movie review. Anyway, i'm going to spoil the whole movie, because you should've all seen it already, bastards.The Good
1. The Gore was intense, reminded me of the original Dawn of the Dead
2. John Leguzamo was bad ass; thanks for fucking him up at the end George (*see the ugly)
3. Entertaining, story wasn't too bad for a zombie movie
4. Lesbians get eaten (now if only this happened in real life)The Bad
1. The Zombies have alot of screen time. Because of this, you can really notice how shitty the actor/actress is
2. The ending is the hero's relocating to Northern Canada? What the Fuck? Do Zombies hate Canada, is that why they want to go there?
1. John Leguzamo turning into a zombie, only to get blown up right before he kills Dennis Hopper was dumb.
2. I fucking hated The Zombie Leader (aka Black Gas Pumper)
3. Zombies are dumb. They can't learn shit. What the fuck George, I thought you wrote the zombie handbook, since when can zombies shoot Machine guns (or play the tuba for that matter)
4. FUCK THE CHEERLEADER ZOMBIE. WHY WERE YOU IN THE WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE. WHY COULDN'T SOMEONE KILL YOU. GET THAT FUCKING LOOK OFF YOUR FACE. WHY WHY WHY why why why.
A zombie classic, but the remake of Dawn of the Dead is better than this.
P.S. Why the hell did they let Black Gas Pumper and his army of zombies to continue marching in the city? Did they not realize that like 10 humans decided to stay behind in hopes of rebuilding it? But no, "they're just looking for a place to go, just like us." They're not fuzzy bunnies chased out of their home by construction workers, they're flesh eating zombies. God damn, George Romero is losing it.
|Thursday, June 23rd, 2005|
Land of the Dead
I expect each and everyone of you to go see "George A. Romero's Land of the Dead" tomorrow. Here's Why:
GOING TO SEE LAND OF THE DEAD = EARNING PEEBLES'S RESPECT
EARNING PEEBLES'S RESPECT = YOUR THE FUCKING ENVY OF ALL MEN, WOMEN, AND CHILDREN. YOUR A SEX SYMBOL. A GOD.
YOUR THE FUCKING.....GOD = SIX FIGURE JOB AND SUPERMODEL WIFE
On the other hand:
NOT GOING TO SEE LAND OF THE DEAD = YOUR A HUNK OF SHIT; EVEN WHORES DON'T LIKE YOU; GO FUCK YOURSELF LOSER
I think the best choice here is obvious. Make Daddy proud.
|Tuesday, June 21st, 2005|
This Week's Edition of "WHO IS THIS GUY???"
Orlando Bloom- This man symbolizes gay to me. I want to throw rocks at him.
Tom Cruise- If your new movie coming out sucks, i'm leaving your fan club. I'm not kidding this time.
George Romero- Thank you for Land of the Dead. It will fucking rule; you are a god damn genius....people need to stop making movies with plots and make more movies where people get eaten.
God- You don't exist, kind of like attractive women in Chesterfield, but if by some miracle you do, don't let fucking protestants go to heaven. Any guy who sings "This little light of mine" in front of another guy is obviously openly gay, and therefore should rot in hell. I observed this in boot camp, when I was forced to attend church one week. How do people believe in that bullshit, honestly? If there going to believe in god, i'm going to believe in zombies. But then i'd be classified as "weird", right, because i'd be the only one who believes in zombies. But if the tables are turned, and everyone believes in zombies, then people who believed in god would be weird. Do you see through my 4th grade English level and understand what i'm saying?
I got under 2 weeks left, and then i'll be gone for a long time. My life is going to be hell, and if I end up in Iraq, well, I guess i'll be a man and handle business. But god will that suck.
|Saturday, June 18th, 2005|
Star Wars was the jam when I was a kid. Whenever i'd skip elementary school, I'd watch Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi. Then I got older, and you can only watch the same movie so many times, so I lost interest. Then Episode 1 and 2 came out; boy did those movies suck. I regretted ever liking Star Wars when I saw those pieces of shit. Episode 3 has changed my mind though...The Good
Action Scenes-They were outstanding; I was entertained
Samuel L. Jackson made a awesome Jedi
This movie actually made me laugh...watching someone kick R2-D2 and make him fall down is good stuffThe Bad
God, this acting was horrible
The lightsaber fights were too long and drawn outThe Ugly
I don't know if Padme' is getting old, but she wasn't much to look at in this one; the whole pregnant thing didn't help either8/10